Anways, sorry about this rant. I've just been needing to get this out of me for a while, so yeah. Just ignore it. Just me rambling.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
A Mind Filled With Memories Weigh Me Down
So, lately I've just been thinking about a few things in my life that have been bothering me. The main thing that I can't seem to get off my mind is how I haven't been that good of a friend. I know that some of you will say, "Don't say that, you're a good friend." or something else, but I feel that I can do so much better. I want to be able to do all that I can for my friends, whether it be to comfort them, make them feel happy, talk with them, listen to them, help them with problems, and all of that stuff. I mean, I feel that I've been able to do some of these things for my friends, but...there's one person, who I've failed at being a good friend and example to them...To this day I feel so guilty and ashamed of how I abandoned them just because I was afraid of being judged, and I can't believe I did so, because they really were one of my dearest friends. I honestly want to regain my friendship with this person, but I'm afraid...afraid that they won't forgive me for the things I've done, which I'm pretty sure they won't...If I could, I would go back in time and do anything that was possible to stop me from making one of the biggest mistakes in my life...
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Hang in there, love. I hope you can mend things with the aforementioned friend. And I do not want it to sound cliched or forced, but you should really know that if there's a person I look to as an example and the exact epitome of a "good friend" it's you. You are always kind, sweet, and generous and positive, absolutely lovely. Know that even if you don't feel like you're doing enough, you are already lightyears away from where I want to be in this regard. I'm thinking of you.
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